For as long as I can remember there has always been this deep black hole inside me and like the black holes in space, always moving and churning and never ending. A black hole of negative inertia with an indefinite velocity that I have never been able to stop. I’ve lost my childhood and my teens to the hole.I’ve lost my health in the hole. I’ve lost friends to the hole. I’ve lost people’s respect and trust to the hole. I’ve lost dreams and realities to the hole. I’ve lost my best intentions to the hole.I’ve lost time to the hole. I’ve lost love to the hole. I’ve lost my brother to the hole. I’ve lost my son to the hole. I’ve lost myself to the hole. I will not lose anymore to the hole.I have found courage and I have found the strength and I have found my inner allies and I will travel deep into the cosmos of my own mind and my own soul and I will travel to the end of the hole. I will travel through the fear and pain. I will travel through the resent and anger. I will travel through the blame and the hopelessness. I will travel through the bitterness and isolation. I will travel through the failures and mistakes. I will travel through guilt and frustration. I will travel to the end of the hole and through to the other side. And on the other side I will break through and I will find wisdom and clarity, I will find my dreams and my energy and my balance. I will find self-love and I will find self-acceptance and I will find happiness and I will find me, Leissa
I’m like a sandwich, there’s lots of good stuff in the middle.